What I Want to Kill When I Grow Up

Conservative darling Tim Bueler can’t wait to slaughter Muslims

By Gustavo Arellano

Like all incoming high school seniors, Tim Bueler has big plans after graduation. The 17-year-old student at Rancho Cotate High School near San Francisco is acclaimed in conservative circles for starting the High School Conservative Clubs of America, an organization that is just what its name states. But instead of taking the next logical step and entering politics, Bueler plans to do what so many conservatives merely dream about: kill Muslims.

Bueler revealed his after-graduation plans to an audience of about 130 at the June 23 meeting of the Huntington Beach-based California Coalition for Immigration Reform (CCIR). He’d received nationwide attention after establishing a “Conservative Hot Line” that urged Rancho Cotate students to rat out “the liberal traitors who call themselves teachers.” The ensuing furor provoked 40 teachers to sign a letter challenging Bueler to cite any instances of liberal bias. Bueler took his story to the conservative press, which immediately transformed the lanky kid into a cause célèbre.

At the CCIR meeting, he took diligent notes as speakers launched into the group’s usual anti-immigrant canards, snapping pictures of the elderly crowd like a health inspector visiting a retirement home. In turn, the CCIR crowd doted on Bueler like a spoiled grandkid, especially after he revealed that his own family “no longer wants anything to do with me” because of his views.

“Over 3,000 of our own people died at the hands of illegal aliens and their religion of peace, Islam!” Bueler screamed. Soon after assuming the podium, he denounced George W. Bush as being soft on immigration, mocking him for expressing sympathy for migrants who die trying to cross the U.S.-Mexican border.

“The price of freedom, my friends, is paid in blood,” Bueler boomed. “The blood of our ancestors. For hundreds of years, Americans have fought to keep it and secure our freedom. And to extend the light of liberty to other countries. I’m not going to stand by and let some Third World illegal immigrants from Mexico, the Middle East or any other country continue to destroy our language and our American culture.

“We’re at a crossroads in America,” Bueler continued. “If our government is not willing to enforce our immigration laws and uphold our laws, then what do we start to do? We take matters into our own hands.”

That sentiment produced cheers from the crowd.

After finishing his 20-minute speech, Bueler entertained questions from the floor. One man asked about his plans after high school—what college he would attend or whether he ever thought about entering politics.

“Politics is not the answer,” Bueler shot back. His eyes glinted as he began explaining to the audience why he was no longer planning to enroll at a university. “I am tired of the religion of peace, Islam,” Bueler thundered. “I know that Islam is not peaceful—it’s rooted in evil. And these people have declared war against all of us, all of us being Christians and Jews. And they want to do what they did to Daniel Pearl and Paul Johnson and Nick Berg to us. What I’m going to do is join the Army Rangers.”

The elderly crowd began applauding, but Bueler wasn’t finished. He explained how his father tried to sway Bueler from this decision, warning that he would most likely find death in Iraq. To this point, Bueler shared with the audience, he shrugged and smiled.

“As long as I take one of those guys with me, I’ll be very satisfied.”